So many people I know (myself included) feel like they try to make changes in their lives, yet nothing seems to really change. Why is this?
Carol McLelland in Seasons of Change calls this being on the Spin Cycle and she has a great explanation for why this happens:
If you've ended one situation (Fall) and jumped to something new (Spring) without taking any time in between, you're in what I call the "Spin Cycle." This pattern is very common because we have such a difficult time with loss and grief that we usually aren't encouraged to spend much (or any) time in Winter. And yet Winter is the key to unlocking the future. Unless and until we're willing to really feel our grief, sadness and anger and get to the bottom of any part, if any, we play in our troubles, a true transformation will never occur.
Oh so true!
We are a society that encourages people to move quickly through loss and just "get on with it"--seize the opportunity and start over. But in refusing to experience our personal Winter, we just keep ourselves stuck in a cycle that never renews.
The Spin Cycle is really about not giving ourselves time to grieve and process emotions during these moments of transformation.
It's also about fear--fear of the unknown and of being confused, fear that if we don't move quickly, we'll be stuck in this place forever, fear of feeling sadness or anger or any of the other messy emotions that come with big change. And sometimes, fear of realizing our greatest potential and gifts, of showing up and owning our own magnificence.
>From a career perspective, you know you're in a Spin Cycle if you leave one job for another and quickly find that much of what frustrated or bothered you about your previous position is happening again in this new one.
You know you're in Spin if you're just going through the motions of getting through your days, disconnected, disengaged and bored with everything you do. The "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" feeling tells you that you haven't integrated the lessons of previous transitions to move you to another level.
If you feel stuck in the Spin Cycle of your life and work, then it may be time to purposely give yourself some Winter experiences to get unstuck. You can't move from the old to the new immediately, just like we don't move directly from Fall to Spring. You simply bring with you the patterns that didn't work before and repeat the same mistakes. Winter is the answer. . .