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Why Denial Doesn't Work

3-Monkeys-Example-For-Living-In-Denial

One of the participants in my Toxic Workplace Course brought up the discomfort that comes with acknowledging to herself that she's in a toxic work situation. If she admits this then it opens up the question that she must DO something about it. And, of course, that feels REALLY uncomfortable. 

But the discomfort of acknowledging reality and the various implications of our current situation is NOTHING compared to what happens when we deny what is going on. 

Here's the thing.When we deny reality, the truth of our situation starts to pop up in other ways--usually physically.

We feel exhausted or anxious all the time.

We start succumbing to various illnesses.

We can't sleep. We can't eat or we eat too much.

We spend our off-hours in front of the TV or the computer, numbing ourselves out

We can also start to see our relationships suffering. We anger more easily. Or we want to isolate ourselves from other people. We are there in body, but are not present emotionally or mentally. 

We also see that our performance at work is suffering. We lose confidence in ourselves, our ideas and our ability to act. Our creativity suffers. We aren't doing our best thinking and we know it. 

All of these things can be insidious, invisible. And that's what makes them so dangerous. 

Here's what I've learned.

Don't fear the discomfort of acknowledging when you are in a bad situation.

Fear what happens when you don't. 

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