If you can't get destination, go for direction.
So we're at the end of our 7-day Getting Unstuck session. Tonight we'll do our final live wrap-up.
A few thoughts as we finish this work. . .
Just because we are not sure of our ultimate destination, this doesn't mean we are stuck. Sometimes it's very clear to us where we want to end up. It's really a matter of us finding the will and the courage to take steps towards our heart's desire.
At other times, the best thing we can shoot for is moving in a general direction, knowing that eventually, the destination will be revealed to us. What matters in these moments is moving. We find the general direction and take small steps toward what we want.
This movement is always a process. Even if we know our destination, it still takes time to get there. Along the way we will have slow days or weeks or even months. But then suddenly, we will make huge leaps foward when the small steps we've been taking suddenly reveal the larger path in front of us.
Tonight we'll be talking about the steps forward you can take. I want to reiterate what I think are some guiding principles to keep in mind as you do this:
- Embrace curiosity and experimentation. Give yourself permission to try things out and to explore. Don't worry about things being "right." Worry about what you're learning from your journey.
- Look for what energizes and inspires you. Doing what you "have" to do or what you "should" do in these circumstances can lead you back to feeling stuck. But following what inspires and energizes you can keep showing you the path forward.
- Re-define success for yourself. Often what keeps us "stuck" is trying to live up to other people's expectations--or our beliefs about what they expect. In our culture, we can get caught up in doing what is "productive" or socially acceptable. But these are not necessarily the things that inspire us as individuals. So to keep moving, we have to keep looking at how we define success for ourselves, not at how others define it for us.
- Pay attention to your experiences--Try to be more mindful of how you feel during your days. What inspires and energize you? What leaves you feeling dispirited? The more aware you are of the things that bring you joy, the more able you are to get more of those things in your life.
- Focus on what you want MORE of. Being stuck is often a matter of us spending too much time thinking about the things we don't want. The more we think about them, the more we find ourselves mired in them. When you find yourself feeling stuck, see how much of it is about you focusing on what you want less of, instead of on what you want more of. Then try experimenting with bringing more of that into your life.
- Keep looking for more experiments, new questions, new connections and new conversations. If you start to feel stuck again, go back to these ideas and see how you can use them to generate new energy and forward momentum. Create movement in the general direction you want to go.
Finally, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. Remember that "stuck" may just be "resting." Give yourself permission to do that when you need to. Keep building your list of nurturing things you can do for yourself and commit to doing more of them when you feel judgement bearing down on you. One of the surest ways to stay stuck is to beat yourself up for it. Try to treat yourself as you would a friend or family member who needed your help. Kindess can go a long way toward moving you forward.
You're heading off into a great journey, but hopefully now you have some new strategies that will help you find your way forward. You are still going to feel confused and anxious and worried at times, but if you keep returning to these ideas, they can give you new energy for continuing the journey.